,
                                                      /|\
                                                     ) | (
                                                    )  |  (
                                                     ) | (
   _____,   ____, ___,   ___,  __  _,                 \|/
  (-| | |  (-|_, (-|_)  (-|_) (-\ |       :\_:\_:\   .(_).   /:_/:_/\
   _| | |_, _|__, _| \_, _| \_,  \|     _/________\_(_).(_)_/________\_
  (        (     (      (      (__/      \  _  _  /   /|\   \  _  _  /
                                          :/ :/ :/   ) | (   \; \; \;
                                                    )  |  (
                                                     ) | (
                                                      \|/
                                                       '
            ____   _    _, ___,   ____, ____   ____, _____,   ___,   ____
           (-/  ` (-|__|  (-|_)  (-|   (-(__` (-|   (-| | |  (-|_\_,(-(__`
             \___, _|  |_, _| \_, _|_,  ____)  _|    _| | |_, _|  )  ____)
                  (       (      (     (      (     (        (      (






                                                             _.
 _ _ _       _ _ _       _ _ _       _ _ _                 ,/,_\, _------,
 _\-\-\-     _\-\-\-     _\-\-\-     _\-\-\-               {',; */     _  \,
  _},},)      _},},)      _},},)      _},},)              ,*;_ \){  (       ]
(_,X \_\____(_,X \_\____(_,X \_\____(_,X \_\____________(C____/|(           )
   \  `_`-___, \  `_`-___, \  `_`-___, \  `_`-___,      ,--`    |       /   /
   |    `----.)|    `----.)|    `----.)|    `----.)  (_/  ,----'-\,__,      ]
    \         \)\         \)\         \)\         \)  \---            \____/
     \ /~~~~\ \  \ /~~~~\ \  \ /~~~~\ \  \ /~~~~\ \ __ \_________________/
     |||    //;  |||    //;  |||    //;  |||    //;/ _`   X /\  /\  /\ X
     \|`    |/   \|`    |/   \|`    |/   \|`    |/ \______X/__\/__\/__\X____/






       .|,  .__.  .  .              .  .           .   ,          .|,
       -*-  [__]  |__| _.._ ._   .  |\ | _ .    ,   \./  _  _.._. -*-
       '|`  |  |  |  |(_\[_)[_)\_|  | \|(/_ \/\/     |  (/_(_\[   '|`
                         |  |  ._|


                .|,  .__                ,         ..  .|,
                -*-  [__) _  _. _. _   -+- _    _.||  -*-
                '|`  |   (/_(_\(_.(/_   | (_)  (_\||  '|`







                ,                                         ,
               /|\                                       /|\
              ) | (                                     ) | (
             )  |  (    .-.--.--.-.          ,___.     )  |  (
              ) | (     \ \  |  / /         /   __)     ) | (
               \|/       \ `   _,/   ,_.---'   __)       \|/
   /\_;\_;\   .(_).       \(\ ( ^== (^_^) ---.__)       .(_).   /:_/:_/\
 _/________\_(_).(_)      '(_''   )( `V' `____})       (_).(_)_/________\_
  \  _  _  /   /|\         _`----'  `-----\, }           /|\   \  _  _  /
   \/ :/ :/   ) | (        \=\-|_\-/=_\-/=-`7           ) | (   \; \; \/
             )  |  (        `/_\-\=/-\=/-|='           )  |  (
              ) | (          `------------'             ) | (
               \|/                                       \|/
                '                                         '






Pictures courtesy of valks@geocities.com
aka. Valkyrie i.e. Me  :)


Calligraphic Font courtesy of spunk1111@aol.com
aka. Joan Stark.






This next one is rather course (I recieved it in snail mail one year) ;)


 __..___.__. __..__..  . __.  .__ .__ .___.___.___.._..  ..__  __.
(__ [__ [__](__ |  ||\ |(__   [ __[__)[__ [__   |   | |\ |[ __(__ 
.__)[___|  |.__)|__|| \|.__)  [_./|  \[___[___  |  _|_| \|[_./.__)



                       ,.-----.,
                    .-/         \
                   / /           \
                  / /.-~'~'~'~'~'-;
                 | |/   _     _   |
                 :~`,  `='   `='  ;
                 `._;     `-'  ,,::;
                / /:,,:::````;:::::;
               / |;::::::::::::::::;
              / .-,-.-.-,:::::::'_';
             /  | | | | |::::::':-:'
            /   `-'-'-|_|::::'.-| |-,
           |   /      `-'::::|' ' ' |
           |   |     /':`;':'\._._._/\.
           |   |     |        (        )
           `___!_____!_________\______/



Money's short
Times are hard
here's your fucking
Christmas card



    ------




Twas the night before Xmas
And all through the house
Everyone felt shitty
Even the mouse



   ------




Mum was at the whorehouse
And Dads smoking grass
I'd just settled down
for a nice piece of ass



   ------




When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I rose from my place
To see what wa the matter



   ------




There out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in an instant
It must be St Nick



   ------




He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
I knew in a flash
The fucker had fell



   ------




He filled all our stockings
With pretzels and beer
And a big rubber dick
For my brother the queer



   ------




He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The son of a bitch blew
The chimney apart



   ------




He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Piss on you all and have
A hell of a night!



   -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-







          __                                                      _.  
 _---_.*~(['===          ,~~,         ,~~,         ,~~,           ,_) 
(,    \ (__)=3--__._----_()'4__._----_()'4__._----_()'4__._,____.()'b 
  \--------/-\  ~~(        ) ~~(        ) ~~(        )  ~~:       :'  
   \_______|       (,_,,,_)     (,_,,,_)     (,_,,,_)     ;,,,,,,:    
___I___I___I./     / /  \ \     / /  \ \     / /  \ \     / /  \ \